Green life. Life is green.

Alexa's past 4 months in one post. 

*How I actually know that life is green again is that I'm actually posting this blog. I've been writing 2 words and erasing 2 paragraphs for 4 months. 

Green tea, green juice, green face from this turbulence. All pretty relevant. Mostly wishing I wasn’t protesting sleeping on planes and my smart water would turn into a snow-cone margarita. Preferably green. My life has been so green lately is what I’m hinting at. I’ve honestly been on such a go that I don’t even know how to stop. I know eventually everything has to get better before it completely falls off a cliff and stops at a 100% red. Red is my least favorite color. But when this point happens, I’ll postmates some red wine and persevere. 

8/14/16

I’m very proud of how I’m currently surviving life right now. One year ago today, I made a promise to myself to look at life in a new way. I would even say to look at myself in a new way. If you personally know me or even if you don’t, I’m annoyingly often told the phrase by all of you people “You need to put yourself first” or worse “You need to have balance in your life.” When in actual reality, one year ago I put myself always as first. As a label. That was my problem. Being first is a feeling of being accepted and being the "best". Which is what I thought was the highest achievement in life so therefore satisfied. I had a wandering year of discovering how to be genuinely proud of who I am. I was a wandering mess that's for sure. If you really want the truth I existed in such a distorted reality I am to this day still shocked at how much life this world actually has. Now I take each day with an understanding that there will be green days and there will be red. But ultimately the red are just a reminder that you can be as happy as you'd like to be. 

Happiness in an AM list:

• Working hard
• Working out 
• Life working out how it's supposed to
• Being generous
• Being genuine
• Flowers (That I give to myself)
• Gluten
• Singing out loud in airports
• Not airports
• Long hikes to nowhere 
• Correct grammar
• Chelsea Handler
• Intelligent conversations
• Surprises
• Surprising people
• Coconut oil
• Watching my sister dance
• Being hydrated
• Roomies
• Green apples
• Quotes on quotes
• Christmas
• Learning
• Learning how to be yourself 

Extroverted Introvert 

11/2/16

This is my "I am a normal person" post. 

I love attention. But can't stand compliments. I crave challenge. In conversation, in my job, in a journey. Without it I become uninterested within seconds. Whenever I'm uninspired, I am tired. When I am tired, like most people, I am not content.

"I have the bad habit of reading the last page of a story first to see whether it's worth reading."

Guilty and not interested in changing. This is how I some what unfortunately treat most relationships. I am an all in, loyalty, and passion kind of girl. If you question if I'm all in, then you answered it because I'm not. I hold 90% of my life back to everyone I meet. Purposely. I think understanding your strengths and weaknesses in an accepting way is a tool to loving yourself. One characteristic I constantly struggle with is trusting others. It doesn't help that I am abnormally stubborn and never do anything anyone tells me to do ever. But I am open to trust. I think realizing your fears can help you move past them. So in conclusion I will still continue to fast forward to the end of all my romance Netflix movies and maybe someday I will trust the way I trust in fate. 

11/15/16 

Alexa is thankful. 

I'm thankful to have such an unpredictable lifestyle. I'm thankful for the people who challenge me and I need more of you in my life. I am thankful for my work ethic I have forced myself to deal with. I am thankful for teaching kids and kids teaching me. I am thankful for my family who has dealt with my bipolar personality for 23 years and counting. I am thankful for my best friends who keep me even when I'm bossy. I am thankful for my life that I will continue to improve through the greens and reds. 

Runnin runnin runnin away.

"Restart of something old"

I was going to start this blog post like I normally do by explaining my current overly irritable airport situation and complaining about how I need 6 extra shots in my Starbucks to pretend like I am interested when people are speaking to me. But since I think that pretty much covered it, I decided to take a different approach and let you in on a little life. 

*Disclaimer- This story is told in the past tense due to my well known talent of procrastination. 

Life. Life is life. It’s living for sure. Living so much that life is purely kicking my butt. So I’m running away. I’m laughing while writing this because I feel like I’m in throwback times to when I had a suspended license at 17 years old, for getting 3 speeding tickets in under 2 months, and therefore would sneak out to the nearby Taco Bell and considered this “running away.” But really, I spontaneously booked a flight and left in the morning. Did you know you can do that at 22 years old? But this time, so I’m not deported, I bought a return flight. (Customs 101 w AM) A devil voice in my head said “You need to go to a beach, turn off your wifi, and do some soul searching because life is about to get real.” The angel voice said “You need to work work work work work work and why would you ever do anything for yourself?” Funny how those roles seem like they should be reversed, but in this crazy Alexa Moffett comedy horror story that’s how life has blessed me. I don’t know what this adventure is going to bring me or if I’ll even make it past the border considering my fantastic travel luck. But I always go with my gut (pizza included) and for once in a very long time I am looking forward to something.

Rock bottom in bikini bottoms

This subtitle is so accurate of my current situation/emotions. Alexa has emotions? I didn’t think so either. I very rarely am effected by my feelings. I can shrug off most anything with this thick sunburnt skin I’ve taught myself to have. I have had extreme success and extreme failure. I’ve learned people will normally disappoint you but the right people who are meant to be in your life, will be. I have trusted in life that it’ll all work out. 

“There once was a girl known by everyone and no one.” -Taylor Swift

But this time feelings actually hit hard. The rain came pouring down when I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe, at all. It wasn’t a mental breakdown,  a specific event, or even an asshole boy. It was realizing I had given up and there's nothing worse than being disappointed in yourself. I constantly preach that there’s only one you and you should be your best you. I don’t believe in wrong decisions but for the first time in my life, I really feel like I’ve experienced willingly letting myself down and not even attempting to get back up. Or in complete honesty, being the person I said I would never be. So there’s my rock bottom. But the best part is I can remember the exact moment I snapped out of this fake persona, put on my new Tom Ford sunglasses, and remembered what really makes me, me. Surprisingly not the Tom Ford sunglasses. Also definitely not the green juice I’ve been forcing down for dayzzzz. I’m a fighter. Do I think I am that person yet? Absolutely not. But I do know that this wake up call has changed and inspired me to continue to persevere. 

*Soul Searching*

This is a legit thing. Google even says. Well good news is I've made it through the border, somehow to my driver, and to my hotel without deciding to turn around. Average news is I’m still searching… So google might have lied. All I’ve managed to find so far is why you don’t go on Tinder while on vacation because those boys are vicious and will hunt you down while you’re trying to blog and eat your breakfast. Also the only reason you would ever bring a boy on a vacation would be to apply your tanning oil so you don’t end up with a splotchy sunburn. I enjoyed this alone time. I learned I can function at 7am to work out, spending $500 you don’t have at the gift shop is a thing, and 24 hour unlimited room service shouldn’t be a thing. 

But I know it’s coming. Until then I’ll just keep applying more tanning oil and procrastinating my emails. 

Alexa returns to Arizona (She lives there?)

Shouldn’t have honestly. Obviously this short lived "vacation" managed to still keep my great positive personality. Well guys now this no longer sunburnt, forever soul searching, rarely tamed dance teacher has some real life to get to. The shocking blow your mind kind of life. So watch out dance world and regular world because 

"Good girls don't make history."

Perfect is so 2015.

Hello, it's me.

Finally, though.

I've had the hardest time writing this post because 2015 has really changed me. Like, to the point that I could honestly change my name to Blair, move to New York, pursuing my dream of becoming a chef, with only my favorite purse to start over. (I can't even cook toast nor choose between my handbags.) I would put it under the class of the best and worst year of my not so predictable life. In 2015, I learned more about myself than I even wanted to learn. I figured out how to live and learn and love and lose. Mainly, I learned. Everything in life, good or bad, you learn. My advice for 2016 is to try just that. When you step out of your comfort zone, you find yourself, and that should be your most important priority in your life. 

Broken hearts and broken backs. 

The hardest thing for me to talk about is feelings. For real though! I'm embarrassed and insecure about it! My wardrobes black, my soul is black. I am not the person that searches for approval from anyone. Unless I'm shopping and look fat in my new dress. I really am too independent for my own good. But uncontrollably with change comes emotion. I believe you are the only one in charge of your emotions. 

"You're as happy as you want to be." 

In 2015 I experienced my first heart-break. I don't like expressing to people what I think or how I feel. Which is surprising with my Leo personality. But that distinct emotion of having your heart-broken is possibly one of the worst things that can happen to you in life. 

It's something you can never forget. 

I think this is because love is such a devoted up and down roller coaster that when it's over you feel empty. A different kind of empty. I'm more of the wine and get over it kinda girl than the chocolate and crying pity party. I don't dwell on the past but I do know that feeling was a big bridge to cross in my life and I am proud to have crossed my biggest fear. I hope that someday, if you haven't already, you get your heart-broken. You will become a better you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

But we were in screaming color. 

I don't cry. (Ever) I dance. Actually I choreograph. I choreograph my life. Haha I honestly wish though. I dislike being around people who will just give me what I want. Who always tell me I am great. Or constantly agreeing with my opinions. Because obviously like the title of this ridiculously dramatic blog post, perfect is so 2015. Anyone can fake perfection. But where's the life in that? I crave social interaction with people who are going to critique me. Example why it's impossible for me to date. (Insert GIF of Alexa and her 9 cats here.) 

2015 *Gold Star* Moments

• 1989 TOUR
• Taylor Swift in general
• Breaking the internet (LOL @ tumblr)
• Monterrey, Mexico
• ABCD Squad
• Bachelor Mondaze
• Halo
• Australia
• Chanel (The purse and the dog)
• Hairtied
• Skydiving 
• Barbie Girl
• Red Wine
• "I'm just here to teach my student."
• ML & AKL
• Intensive Part 2/OC
• Jane Buckingham <3 (My role model and inspiration!) 
• Working on a better me

"Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it."

I’m often asked the question “Alexa, what did you have to give up?” The answer? What haven’t I. I've worked my ass off for my talent. My passion did it for me. What I’ve concluded about my personal uncertainties in my life, is that life is too short. Even with my head stuck in the clouds, I live my life hour by hour. Happy hour included. If someone makes a mistake, don’t hold a grudge. If someone hurts you, give them a second chance. If someone loves you, run with it and love them back. Without taking chances and experiencing change, for better or worse, you will never know what could’ve been. Realistically everyone just wants to be excepted and feel worthy. Recently I’ve committed to bettering myself and genuinely being happy. If that means taking the less traveled road, that’s what I’ll do. I want to look back on this comedy horror lifestyle and have no regrets. I want to know that I did it all. My wildest dreams. That I was me and the best me. So at the same time as discussing what I’ve given up, I’ve gained so much more from doing just that. I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. Which is the best success. 

Don't lower your standards, instead, wait for people to rise up to your expectations.