I'm sorry the old Alexa can't come to the phone right now.

I’m sorry the old Alexa can’t come to the phone right now.

Why?

Oh, because she threw her phone in one of her 10 cold brews she didn’t drink and sold all of her purses to buy a one way ticket to anywhere but Scottsdale, Arizona. 

Realistically everything is going to be great. But in the meantime, I will suffer slowly through my only type of therapy I know, spending unknown amounts of money on eyelash extensions I eventually will pick off due to lack of sleep.

Things to do when you’re 24 and lonely:

-Love and lose

-Smile at coffee shop entrepreneurs 

-Smile in general

-Try to be an adult

-Make your bed every morning (for yourself)

-Drink your calories

-Experience gratefulness when you’re not hungover from 1 alcoholic beverage 

-Pay for your gym membership that you’re not using 

-Visit museums not just for the cool IG photo 

-Wake up early for you time 

-Try a new face mask and then when you’re still ugly try again

-Not buy the new iPhone because you’re actually too broke

-Actually attend dates

-Grocery shop as therapy 

-Take elderberry everyday 

-Forget to charge your iPhone and constantly forget to reply to every text even from your grandma 

-Learn every lyric to new Tswift album in 1 hour 

-Facetime your dog 

-Breathe 

-Be proud

-Believe in yourself 

-Live your best life 

Not like I do any of these things daily… 

But if, let’s say potentially, I was a lonely/determined/ridiculously uncontrollable 24 year old dance choreographer/business owner I think these general ideas could be a great list of ideas to add to my extra long procrastinated to do list. 

Back to 2017

My life has completely flip flopped, skyrocketed/crumbled, thrown up/grown up, possibly had a glow up but still tbd in the past 6 months. I think I’ve aged 20 years mentally, -10 years emotionally, and 50+ years physically. My psychic also told me my chakras are shockingly unbalanced (surprise, surprise) so we’ll put my spiritual well being in the tbd category as well. 

I think my life events have been so extreme that it’s making the extreme wear off. I have experienced emotions I didn’t think I even knew how to feel. So therefore I’m categorizing these emotions as my attempt at organization of this blog of chaos/comedy/horror.

Happiness

I am a genuinely happy person. Almost always I am as happy as I’d like to be. I’ve felt happiness with my commitment to myself, my job, and my family/friends. I think we all strive for this somewhat balance even though it almost always doesn’t happen. 

A part of my personality that I think is a bit extreme (but hey here I am) is that I am happiest when I feel successful. This doesn’t mean money, fame, blah blah blah. It honestly means when I am proud and inspired by myself. I opened my first actual live real time big girl business. Did I think I could do it? Absolutely. Did I think I would struggle? Yes, I live on the struggle bus. Did I think I would be as proud as I am? Not at all. 

I shocked myself at the commitment and actual love I’ve put in to building Danceplex. I think this is mostly because no matter what obstacles I encounter during this exciting and wild journey, I know that I am invested in myself. The best place in life to be. I continuously am congratulated for opening a studio which “has always been your dream.” I’m not going to lie to you all, that actually wasn’t my dream. I lost that dream many years ago in the best way possible. It kind of just fell in my lap, and literally saved me. Without this blessing, I would be living in London with a new name, personality, potentially no prada, and definitely without my passion. 

Sadness

I think this would be my newest emotion. I don’t rely on others, ever. I rarely trust, unfortunately even in my closest friends. I’m working on it, no sweat. But this is not irrelevant to this reasoning of sadness. I can’t even blame my sadness on an event or person because I wasn’t sad about anything that was actually happening. Even as tragic as it would seem to most humans. 

I was sad because I couldn’t believe I let myself feel this much sadness. So contradicting isn’t it? I then lived with a mini rain cloud over my head for a few weeks. Sometimes letting it stay gloomy just to make an excuse. There wasn’t even any kind of hopeful words someone could have told me to get over this storm. Dance was the only way I knew I could express without feeling insecure, vulnerable, or just embarrassed. So that’s what I did. My cloud has disappeared and I turned back on my sarcastic/carefree/world of rainbows and make believe life switch. I feel better. Still not 100% myself but I will continue to drink cold brew with a side of yoga on the extra stormy days. 

Fear 

I’m pretty fearless. Occasionally scary bugs and snakes. (The animal kind, I can handle the people.) This category I think consumes mostly my extroverted/introvert personality. Meaning I am an extreme perfectionist when it comes to myself. As I’ve stated before, and you all should be. 

Anger

I am never angry. I don’t even know how to yell besides singing alone in my car to Tswift or corrections to my dancers over loud pop music. But I have two very large pet peeves.

1. Not following through with a commitment. I am pretty talented with continuously being independent. So when I ask for a favor or help, which is uncommon, I normally am depending on it. I think dependability is a very prestigious and valued skill. 
2. Lies. I have no medium with lying. I don’t believe in it. Through this career I’ve learned to easily accept critique. Social media influencing is basically putting yourself on blast 24/7. I’ve been called unkind names, told I was unworthy, and judged by people who have no idea of anything about me or what I genuinely believe in. What it’s taught me is that you can have insecurities, life is not perfect nor will ever be. But what you can do is be honest with people you care for. 

Bottom line I try to look on the positive side to almost all challenges. But if I am angry. It’s because most people suck.

Surprise

At how many days I can actually go without sleeping and still hold/process a semi intelligent conversation. Also at the amount of times I’ve planned to work out and yet here I am still eating burritos and the rest of the time forgetting a liquid diet really isn’t great for my digestive system. Which I also complain about more than dance moms. (That’s a new level.)

Disgust 

I am officially 24 and 3.5 months. That officially is almost 25. Which is 1 quarter of my predicted life. Although I am planning on living forever by this plant based diet.

"Old ways won't open new doors."

Through new challenges I know I will persevere and don’t see a rock bottom anytime in my near future. Unless I am suddenly brainwashed and lose my choreography/teaching skills I’ve worked my ass off from real life rock bottom to master, I will be here. Maybe living on bunk beds in my faculty room, but I’ll be thriving. 

I am Alexa Moffett.

I am Alexa Moffett. 

Believe it or not, I am an actual person. A girl, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, a student, a role model, a rebel, a shoulder to cry on, a wanderer. I obsess over things. Actually all things. I breakdown. I feel with my entire heart. I fight. With my emotions, with my body, with people I care for. I ruin relationships for no reason. I am an extrovert. But equally introverted. I imagine what life could be. I get bored easily. I bite my nails when I’m stressed. Sometimes I’m indecisive and sometimes I make decisions without thinking. I fall. In love, in lust, over. I have major commitment issues and I am also always invested. I am my biggest critic. I get embarrassed when I mess up. I am shy and I am crazy. Some people love me and some people hate me. I make mistakes and I lie. I have success and I tell the truth. I snort when I laugh. I can give great advice but can rarely receive. I am learning to accept myself and that is okay. 

I am a believer. I believe in someone. I know they can do it. You know why? I wished someone would have taught me that. If I expect more from you I will push you until you’re at what you think may be your max. I am your number one fan. I put people before myself. I set expectations and I never lower them. 

I am not a famous dance teacher. I am not a social media star. I am just Alexa. I have dreams and I believe you can do anything you set your mind to. I value work ethic, honesty, and respect over anything. If I want something I’ll fight for it. You bet I’ll stand up for the people I care about. I could live off peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Gluten free of course. I wish being a professional gift giver was a career. I relax by driving late at night and blasting my favorite Taylor Swift song with the windows down. I love dressing up and wearing the highest heels I can find because being tall is cool. I barely passed high school because drawing costumes in my notebooks didn’t count as “math homework.” I pay for a monthly gym membership even though I’ve been a total of 3 times in my lifetime. Why? Because I like the idea of it and it makes me happy.

If someone tells you “your expectations are too high” or something as simple as “you can’t” I look at that as a challenge. Prove it. If you fail you have lost nothing. Your strengths and weaknesses shape your path. Play off of them. 

All of this is my own opinion and therefore it’s right. There’s no incorrect way in how you feel. “When you accept who you are you become you.” Which is the number one thing you could ever want to be. Yourself. 

I am Alexa Moffett.

I have finally found my zen.

Part 1 of finding my zen. Or I think. 

It took about an extra nine pounds and excessively visiting my local Coffee Bean (which I am recently a proud regular) to recognize what in the hell "zen" even looked, felt, tasted like, who knew. But I discovered it. I think.

Regardless, what I do think I found is remembering how to commit again. To my ideas, my fears, my heart, my thoughts, my wildest dreams, and to most importantly myself. Which is the path I have always tried to navigate to. I think for about the last 6 months, I was steering myself towards too many paths and maybe forgetting which one made me feel enlightened. Now like you all predicted I would say, I am not there yet and won't ever be. But the improvement is something I am going to brag about, as you all should as well. 

Approaching 2017 I didn't think I was ready. 2016 was full of many firsts, a bit of forgiving, and a whole lot of fun. But I'm here and as of about an hour ago, I am back on my forever path. 

"She's at peace and yet somehow on fire." 

2016 stole my name.

Thanks to Amazon and even more so outdated fads, I am now not only commanded to do ridiculous things by dance moms, but every indolent person in the world that can’t move 3 feet to turn off a light switch. To increase this situation, I’m constantly reminded thanks to my first world problem snap chatters, that I need to change my name and finally fall off the earth. See what 23 and a half years of a comedy/horror lifestyle/career can do to you?

This Alexa can’t be commanded to do anything, by anyone, ever. 

Can’t be tamed.

Won’t, not interested, and honestly impossible. 

I think an accurate description of myself would be “misunderstood miss independent.” No matter the act I put on to my fellow social media friends, I actually have to try to keep this ego alive. Somedays I want to depend on someone. Which genuinely would relieve my severe anxiety and potentially become a life changing event for this unique fairytale. But everyday I crave someone to tell me I am completely crazy and ridiculously confusing. I think that if you aren’t then are you actually alive? Mostly I just want to be miss. Miss Alexa, maybe missed, but definitely never ever a Mrs. I am tragically cursed with bad vibes about associating myself with a forever title, so forever I will stay Alexa Moffett. Even if Chuck Bass offered me a world of diamonds, I would remain just me. Because I will buy myself my own diamonds. Which brings me to my next life expectation.

“Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.” 

My life quote. 

Guys, it is even the headline of my Tinder profile. Which I wonder why I still continue to check when I am nowhere near committed to having a friend boy. That starts and results in a terribly awful coffee date. Most likely at a coffee shop that I hate, where we small talk to the point of me realistically making up lies so he wants to leave and forget my name. Not like this has ever happened. But back to the real fact of this rant. My quote has been very hard for me to explain to any curious peer that questions my sanity. It has always reminded me that I will have success no matter which path I stumble upon. Success is something I deeply admire. So no matter the obstacles, my choices will decide my success as I learn and always risk at a chance at becoming "successful." 

What is success? I think this feeling is my most real feeling. It’s very hard for me to relate to content people. My heart definitely can appreciate an accomplishment where I feel uplifted but my brain is constantly reminding me that life is too short to stop. To stop growing. Which sounds so lame, especially as I’m writing this trying to inspire you all to continue to persevere. But that’s exactly the truth. Life won’t stop, there is actually not a real pause button. There is a snooze. But the more you snooze the more you don’t necessarily lose, but you don’t gain anything besides the feeling of content. Which I will forever commit to committing content is a waste.

In the meantime, I will try to keep this zen. I'm sure by morning I will complain about my 8:00am workout, lack of willpower to not bake/eat 4 trays of vegan cookies, and certainly about the amount of emails I have procrastinated for potentially years. But that doesn't matter because I won't be snoozing any longer.

Green life. Life is green.

Alexa's past 4 months in one post. 

*How I actually know that life is green again is that I'm actually posting this blog. I've been writing 2 words and erasing 2 paragraphs for 4 months. 

Green tea, green juice, green face from this turbulence. All pretty relevant. Mostly wishing I wasn’t protesting sleeping on planes and my smart water would turn into a snow-cone margarita. Preferably green. My life has been so green lately is what I’m hinting at. I’ve honestly been on such a go that I don’t even know how to stop. I know eventually everything has to get better before it completely falls off a cliff and stops at a 100% red. Red is my least favorite color. But when this point happens, I’ll postmates some red wine and persevere. 

8/14/16

I’m very proud of how I’m currently surviving life right now. One year ago today, I made a promise to myself to look at life in a new way. I would even say to look at myself in a new way. If you personally know me or even if you don’t, I’m annoyingly often told the phrase by all of you people “You need to put yourself first” or worse “You need to have balance in your life.” When in actual reality, one year ago I put myself always as first. As a label. That was my problem. Being first is a feeling of being accepted and being the "best". Which is what I thought was the highest achievement in life so therefore satisfied. I had a wandering year of discovering how to be genuinely proud of who I am. I was a wandering mess that's for sure. If you really want the truth I existed in such a distorted reality I am to this day still shocked at how much life this world actually has. Now I take each day with an understanding that there will be green days and there will be red. But ultimately the red are just a reminder that you can be as happy as you'd like to be. 

Happiness in an AM list:

• Working hard
• Working out 
• Life working out how it's supposed to
• Being generous
• Being genuine
• Flowers (That I give to myself)
• Gluten
• Singing out loud in airports
• Not airports
• Long hikes to nowhere 
• Correct grammar
• Chelsea Handler
• Intelligent conversations
• Surprises
• Surprising people
• Coconut oil
• Watching my sister dance
• Being hydrated
• Roomies
• Green apples
• Quotes on quotes
• Christmas
• Learning
• Learning how to be yourself 

Extroverted Introvert 

11/2/16

This is my "I am a normal person" post. 

I love attention. But can't stand compliments. I crave challenge. In conversation, in my job, in a journey. Without it I become uninterested within seconds. Whenever I'm uninspired, I am tired. When I am tired, like most people, I am not content.

"I have the bad habit of reading the last page of a story first to see whether it's worth reading."

Guilty and not interested in changing. This is how I some what unfortunately treat most relationships. I am an all in, loyalty, and passion kind of girl. If you question if I'm all in, then you answered it because I'm not. I hold 90% of my life back to everyone I meet. Purposely. I think understanding your strengths and weaknesses in an accepting way is a tool to loving yourself. One characteristic I constantly struggle with is trusting others. It doesn't help that I am abnormally stubborn and never do anything anyone tells me to do ever. But I am open to trust. I think realizing your fears can help you move past them. So in conclusion I will still continue to fast forward to the end of all my romance Netflix movies and maybe someday I will trust the way I trust in fate. 

11/15/16 

Alexa is thankful. 

I'm thankful to have such an unpredictable lifestyle. I'm thankful for the people who challenge me and I need more of you in my life. I am thankful for my work ethic I have forced myself to deal with. I am thankful for teaching kids and kids teaching me. I am thankful for my family who has dealt with my bipolar personality for 23 years and counting. I am thankful for my best friends who keep me even when I'm bossy. I am thankful for my life that I will continue to improve through the greens and reds. 

Runnin runnin runnin away.

"Restart of something old"

I was going to start this blog post like I normally do by explaining my current overly irritable airport situation and complaining about how I need 6 extra shots in my Starbucks to pretend like I am interested when people are speaking to me. But since I think that pretty much covered it, I decided to take a different approach and let you in on a little life. 

*Disclaimer- This story is told in the past tense due to my well known talent of procrastination. 

Life. Life is life. It’s living for sure. Living so much that life is purely kicking my butt. So I’m running away. I’m laughing while writing this because I feel like I’m in throwback times to when I had a suspended license at 17 years old, for getting 3 speeding tickets in under 2 months, and therefore would sneak out to the nearby Taco Bell and considered this “running away.” But really, I spontaneously booked a flight and left in the morning. Did you know you can do that at 22 years old? But this time, so I’m not deported, I bought a return flight. (Customs 101 w AM) A devil voice in my head said “You need to go to a beach, turn off your wifi, and do some soul searching because life is about to get real.” The angel voice said “You need to work work work work work work and why would you ever do anything for yourself?” Funny how those roles seem like they should be reversed, but in this crazy Alexa Moffett comedy horror story that’s how life has blessed me. I don’t know what this adventure is going to bring me or if I’ll even make it past the border considering my fantastic travel luck. But I always go with my gut (pizza included) and for once in a very long time I am looking forward to something.

Rock bottom in bikini bottoms

This subtitle is so accurate of my current situation/emotions. Alexa has emotions? I didn’t think so either. I very rarely am effected by my feelings. I can shrug off most anything with this thick sunburnt skin I’ve taught myself to have. I have had extreme success and extreme failure. I’ve learned people will normally disappoint you but the right people who are meant to be in your life, will be. I have trusted in life that it’ll all work out. 

“There once was a girl known by everyone and no one.” -Taylor Swift

But this time feelings actually hit hard. The rain came pouring down when I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe, at all. It wasn’t a mental breakdown,  a specific event, or even an asshole boy. It was realizing I had given up and there's nothing worse than being disappointed in yourself. I constantly preach that there’s only one you and you should be your best you. I don’t believe in wrong decisions but for the first time in my life, I really feel like I’ve experienced willingly letting myself down and not even attempting to get back up. Or in complete honesty, being the person I said I would never be. So there’s my rock bottom. But the best part is I can remember the exact moment I snapped out of this fake persona, put on my new Tom Ford sunglasses, and remembered what really makes me, me. Surprisingly not the Tom Ford sunglasses. Also definitely not the green juice I’ve been forcing down for dayzzzz. I’m a fighter. Do I think I am that person yet? Absolutely not. But I do know that this wake up call has changed and inspired me to continue to persevere. 

*Soul Searching*

This is a legit thing. Google even says. Well good news is I've made it through the border, somehow to my driver, and to my hotel without deciding to turn around. Average news is I’m still searching… So google might have lied. All I’ve managed to find so far is why you don’t go on Tinder while on vacation because those boys are vicious and will hunt you down while you’re trying to blog and eat your breakfast. Also the only reason you would ever bring a boy on a vacation would be to apply your tanning oil so you don’t end up with a splotchy sunburn. I enjoyed this alone time. I learned I can function at 7am to work out, spending $500 you don’t have at the gift shop is a thing, and 24 hour unlimited room service shouldn’t be a thing. 

But I know it’s coming. Until then I’ll just keep applying more tanning oil and procrastinating my emails. 

Alexa returns to Arizona (She lives there?)

Shouldn’t have honestly. Obviously this short lived "vacation" managed to still keep my great positive personality. Well guys now this no longer sunburnt, forever soul searching, rarely tamed dance teacher has some real life to get to. The shocking blow your mind kind of life. So watch out dance world and regular world because 

"Good girls don't make history."

Perfect is so 2015.

Hello, it's me.

Finally, though.

I've had the hardest time writing this post because 2015 has really changed me. Like, to the point that I could honestly change my name to Blair, move to New York, pursuing my dream of becoming a chef, with only my favorite purse to start over. (I can't even cook toast nor choose between my handbags.) I would put it under the class of the best and worst year of my not so predictable life. In 2015, I learned more about myself than I even wanted to learn. I figured out how to live and learn and love and lose. Mainly, I learned. Everything in life, good or bad, you learn. My advice for 2016 is to try just that. When you step out of your comfort zone, you find yourself, and that should be your most important priority in your life. 

Broken hearts and broken backs. 

The hardest thing for me to talk about is feelings. For real though! I'm embarrassed and insecure about it! My wardrobes black, my soul is black. I am not the person that searches for approval from anyone. Unless I'm shopping and look fat in my new dress. I really am too independent for my own good. But uncontrollably with change comes emotion. I believe you are the only one in charge of your emotions. 

"You're as happy as you want to be." 

In 2015 I experienced my first heart-break. I don't like expressing to people what I think or how I feel. Which is surprising with my Leo personality. But that distinct emotion of having your heart-broken is possibly one of the worst things that can happen to you in life. 

It's something you can never forget. 

I think this is because love is such a devoted up and down roller coaster that when it's over you feel empty. A different kind of empty. I'm more of the wine and get over it kinda girl than the chocolate and crying pity party. I don't dwell on the past but I do know that feeling was a big bridge to cross in my life and I am proud to have crossed my biggest fear. I hope that someday, if you haven't already, you get your heart-broken. You will become a better you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. 

But we were in screaming color. 

I don't cry. (Ever) I dance. Actually I choreograph. I choreograph my life. Haha I honestly wish though. I dislike being around people who will just give me what I want. Who always tell me I am great. Or constantly agreeing with my opinions. Because obviously like the title of this ridiculously dramatic blog post, perfect is so 2015. Anyone can fake perfection. But where's the life in that? I crave social interaction with people who are going to critique me. Example why it's impossible for me to date. (Insert GIF of Alexa and her 9 cats here.) 

2015 *Gold Star* Moments

• 1989 TOUR
• Taylor Swift in general
• Breaking the internet (LOL @ tumblr)
• Monterrey, Mexico
• ABCD Squad
• Bachelor Mondaze
• Halo
• Australia
• Chanel (The purse and the dog)
• Hairtied
• Skydiving 
• Barbie Girl
• Red Wine
• "I'm just here to teach my student."
• ML & AKL
• Intensive Part 2/OC
• Jane Buckingham <3 (My role model and inspiration!) 
• Working on a better me

"Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it."

I’m often asked the question “Alexa, what did you have to give up?” The answer? What haven’t I. I've worked my ass off for my talent. My passion did it for me. What I’ve concluded about my personal uncertainties in my life, is that life is too short. Even with my head stuck in the clouds, I live my life hour by hour. Happy hour included. If someone makes a mistake, don’t hold a grudge. If someone hurts you, give them a second chance. If someone loves you, run with it and love them back. Without taking chances and experiencing change, for better or worse, you will never know what could’ve been. Realistically everyone just wants to be excepted and feel worthy. Recently I’ve committed to bettering myself and genuinely being happy. If that means taking the less traveled road, that’s what I’ll do. I want to look back on this comedy horror lifestyle and have no regrets. I want to know that I did it all. My wildest dreams. That I was me and the best me. So at the same time as discussing what I’ve given up, I’ve gained so much more from doing just that. I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. Which is the best success. 

Don't lower your standards, instead, wait for people to rise up to your expectations.

"Alexa"rella

A new me.

Yes. You heard correctly. The new and improved existence of a slightly lost, slightly more single, 22 year old dance teacher or something like that. Although "I am not a dance teacher" is my title to this comedy horror story, I believe I truly am stuck with this lifestyle. But recently I've been all about taking chances. Doing things I would never even consider in my first, second, fortunately never ending dance teacher life. Just like Little Mix says "these wings are made to fly."

5 steps of how to change your life from flab to fab. 

Yes flab like my stomach from canceling my gym membership.

1. We all need somebody to lean on.

No matter how independent and freaking awesome you are, it's not quite as awesome without people who genuinely care about you. Find them and make them your priority. Your family and friends are your Taylor to your Swift. Without them in my opinion you are just a Kim without your Kayne. They love you more than your recent obsession with your hover board. So share the love. I can say from experience this is something I am working on. Trusting someone is one of my biggest fears and set backs. But I can also tell you that when you finally decide to let them in, great things will happen. Actually the absolute best. Finding your backbone.

SHOUTOUT to all my best friends. I really am so lucky. Especially to my stepbrother, Alex Casola. "You'll always be my best friend because you know too much."

2. You got me workin' workin' day and night.

You know the quote "Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life." That is great and all, I mean 100 percent true as well. But in the meantime of stressing about bills and balancing spending money, take a second to evaluate what you're doing. I am one of the most committed people you will ever meet. If I want something, I will get it. But at the same time I've drained myself from obsessing over the un-controlables. Unfortunately life is too short for that. Find the balance of hard work and actual fun and you'll never have to work a day in your life.

3. Long hair don't care.

If you love your look, you love yourself. Take time to work on your appearance. I can't tell you a single person I have met in my life that hasn't felt a little more confident when they lose a few pounds or take a chance on a new cut and color. Start simple like wearing and rocking something you wouldn't normally wear. You never know until you try. If you love it, do it.

4. D8 the great.

This is the hardest topic for me. DATING... dun, dun, dun. Apart of your transformation to fab is having fab arm candy. Maybe it's a new Chanel? Haha that's my answer to everything. But for reals if you never try to date, you never will. This has been me for hmmm my entire life! Miss independent is my middle name. Even if your new coffee date turns out to be decaf in the worst scenario you still most likely got some great free coffee. Luckily for me this didn't happen. Or if you are still in the fries before guys stage, substitute the fries for a new handbag. Maybe both. 

5. A little more you.

I little less worry and a lotta more you! You need to be your number one fan. This can be especially difficult because you are your biggest critic. I rate everything in my life on a scale of 1 to 10. Importance of this is a 10 and you need to be an 11. 

Following these guidelines should help clear your mind and hopefully your path. I mean I can't promise anything because I'm just a small town girl living in her lonely world. But I do know trying new things will make a difference. Be the best you. You deserve it. 

When Walmart Calls.

Literally.

This is a TBT because blogging is hard work people. 

Today I was awoken before my alarm to 2 full blast calls from an unknown number. Which I never answer understandably. Finally they left a voicemail and it was Walmart, offering me an interview from my application. I’m glad the world is looking out for me. I mean Walmart has always been on my top places to apply. I was considering Target but now that I know Walmart wants me I’ll have to go with my gut. But hey thank you for whoever sent in that application. Helping out my financial situation and really just making my day.  

I have been recently blessed with some great times to laugh at myself. Like when you think someone is talking to you in the dressing room and you politely reply but really it was to the other Alexa next door. Or when you run out of gas on the side of the road. If you're wondering what happens your car just stops. Or when you start a new green tea cleanse but you really need Ben & Jerry's to finish your blog post. So you'll have to restart tomorrow. These moments were all definitely a 10.

Life is too short and so is my patience. 

Once I was told my expectations were unreachable. Words can hurt especially when they're said by someone you really care about. I let it bother me and believed them. I thought of the phrase for multiple weeks, everyday actually, and it crushed me. I felt out of control of my own life. I was ready to quit everything and had no desire to work hard anymore. I'm actually getting teary eyed while writing this. Haha more laughing at myself! I believe through hard times everything happens for a reason. But to discover the reason is your destiny. So that's exactly what I did. When you experience change in your life you either A. Shut down or B. Move on. I'm not someone to dwell on the past so option B was my obvious choice. 

9/3/15 

was the most important day of my entire life. Like if I ever have a wedding (the odds are against this) it will be on September 3rd. Bachelors take note. The day I completely changed me. Actually I became a better me. I was changed from change. I can't believe I let someone else's opinion almost destroy me and give up on myself. Thank you for showing me what I deserve and I am so grateful for this period in my life. The biggest blessing. Never let someone tell you that you can't do something. That shows their limitations, not yours.  

"It's all messy: The hair. The bed. The words. The heart. THE EMAILS. Life..."

Once upon a time there was a 22 year old dance teacher. Sometimes she taught dance but mostly she dreamt of what dance had taught her. Occasionally she would roam the mall and spend her rent money on overly priced heels. Even though kind of like her life, she would be bored with them by the next day. People would watch her every move and wonder what exactly she was thinking, but no one really knew. Loved by most, hated by many, and truly known by few. This was her life and she liked it exactly the way it was. Unknown. 

And that's my story. Just kidding it didn't end that smoothly. But truly it is just beginning. This blog specifically has taken me five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes to finish. Actually about 5 airplanes and countless restless blogging nights. I’ve been inspired and erased everything. My jumbled thoughts and none fully portraying of what I felt and visioned in my head. The words on the tip of my tongue but word vomit when I tried to share with you all. I just wanted this blog to be perfect...

But I think my life is anything but perfect and I wouldn't want it any other way.