Hello, it's me.
Finally, though.
I've had the hardest time writing this post because 2015 has really changed me. Like, to the point that I could honestly change my name to Blair, move to New York, pursuing my dream of becoming a chef, with only my favorite purse to start over. (I can't even cook toast nor choose between my handbags.) I would put it under the class of the best and worst year of my not so predictable life. In 2015, I learned more about myself than I even wanted to learn. I figured out how to live and learn and love and lose. Mainly, I learned. Everything in life, good or bad, you learn. My advice for 2016 is to try just that. When you step out of your comfort zone, you find yourself, and that should be your most important priority in your life.
Broken hearts and broken backs.
The hardest thing for me to talk about is feelings. For real though! I'm embarrassed and insecure about it! My wardrobes black, my soul is black. I am not the person that searches for approval from anyone. Unless I'm shopping and look fat in my new dress. I really am too independent for my own good. But uncontrollably with change comes emotion. I believe you are the only one in charge of your emotions.
"You're as happy as you want to be."
In 2015 I experienced my first heart-break. I don't like expressing to people what I think or how I feel. Which is surprising with my Leo personality. But that distinct emotion of having your heart-broken is possibly one of the worst things that can happen to you in life.
It's something you can never forget.
I think this is because love is such a devoted up and down roller coaster that when it's over you feel empty. A different kind of empty. I'm more of the wine and get over it kinda girl than the chocolate and crying pity party. I don't dwell on the past but I do know that feeling was a big bridge to cross in my life and I am proud to have crossed my biggest fear. I hope that someday, if you haven't already, you get your heart-broken. You will become a better you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
But we were in screaming color.
I don't cry. (Ever) I dance. Actually I choreograph. I choreograph my life. Haha I honestly wish though. I dislike being around people who will just give me what I want. Who always tell me I am great. Or constantly agreeing with my opinions. Because obviously like the title of this ridiculously dramatic blog post, perfect is so 2015. Anyone can fake perfection. But where's the life in that? I crave social interaction with people who are going to critique me. Example why it's impossible for me to date. (Insert GIF of Alexa and her 9 cats here.)
2015 *Gold Star* Moments
- 1989 TOUR
- Taylor Swift in general
- Breaking the internet (LOL @ tumblr)
- Monterrey, Mexico
- ABCD Squad
- Bachelor Mondaze
- Halo
- Australia
- Chanel (The purse and the dog)
- Hairtied
- Skydiving
- Barbie Girl
- Red Wine
- "I'm just here to teach my student."
- ML & AKL
- Intensive Part 2/OC
- Jane Buckingham <3 (My role model and inspiration!)
- Working on a better me
"Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it."
I’m often asked the question “Alexa, what did you have to give up?” The answer? What haven’t I. I've worked my ass off for my talent. My passion did it for me. What I’ve concluded about my personal uncertainties in my life, is that life is too short. Even with my head stuck in the clouds, I live my life hour by hour. Happy hour included. If someone makes a mistake, don’t hold a grudge. If someone hurts you, give them a second chance. If someone loves you, run with it and love them back. Without taking chances and experiencing change, for better or worse, you will never know what could’ve been. Realistically everyone just wants to be excepted and feel worthy. Recently I’ve committed to bettering myself and genuinely being happy. If that means taking the less traveled road, that’s what I’ll do. I want to look back on this comedy horror lifestyle and have no regrets. I want to know that I did it all. My wildest dreams. That I was me and the best me. So at the same time as discussing what I’ve given up, I’ve gained so much more from doing just that. I’ve learned more about myself than I ever thought possible. Which is the best success.
Don't lower your standards, instead, wait for people to rise up to your expectations.
