"Restart of something old"
I was going to start this blog post like I normally do by explaining my current overly irritable airport situation and complaining about how I need 6 extra shots in my Starbucks to pretend like I am interested when people are speaking to me. But since I think that pretty much covered it, I decided to take a different approach and let you in on a little life.
*Disclaimer- This story is told in the past tense due to my well known talent of procrastination.
Life. Life is life. It’s living for sure. Living so much that life is purely kicking my butt. So I’m running away. I’m laughing while writing this because I feel like I’m in throwback times to when I had a suspended license at 17 years old, for getting 3 speeding tickets in under 2 months, and therefore would sneak out to the nearby Taco Bell and considered this “running away.” But really, I spontaneously booked a flight and left in the morning. Did you know you can do that at 22 years old? But this time, so I’m not deported, I bought a return flight. (Customs 101 w AM) A devil voice in my head said “You need to go to a beach, turn off your wifi, and do some soul searching because life is about to get real.” The angel voice said “You need to work work work work work work and why would you ever do anything for yourself?” Funny how those roles seem like they should be reversed, but in this crazy Alexa Moffett comedy horror story that’s how life has blessed me. I don’t know what this adventure is going to bring me or if I’ll even make it past the border considering my fantastic travel luck. But I always go with my gut (pizza included) and for once in a very long time I am looking forward to something.
Rock bottom in bikini bottoms
This subtitle is so accurate of my current situation/emotions. Alexa has emotions? I didn’t think so either. I very rarely am effected by my feelings. I can shrug off most anything with this thick sunburnt skin I’ve taught myself to have. I have had extreme success and extreme failure. I’ve learned people will normally disappoint you but the right people who are meant to be in your life, will be. I have trusted in life that it’ll all work out.
“There once was a girl known by everyone and no one.” -Taylor Swift
But this time feelings actually hit hard. The rain came pouring down when I was drowning and I couldn’t breathe, at all. It wasn’t a mental breakdown, a specific event, or even an asshole boy. It was realizing I had given up and there's nothing worse than being disappointed in yourself. I constantly preach that there’s only one you and you should be your best you. I don’t believe in wrong decisions but for the first time in my life, I really feel like I’ve experienced willingly letting myself down and not even attempting to get back up. Or in complete honesty, being the person I said I would never be. So there’s my rock bottom. But the best part is I can remember the exact moment I snapped out of this fake persona, put on my new Tom Ford sunglasses, and remembered what really makes me, me. Surprisingly not the Tom Ford sunglasses. Also definitely not the green juice I’ve been forcing down for dayzzzz. I’m a fighter. Do I think I am that person yet? Absolutely not. But I do know that this wake up call has changed and inspired me to continue to persevere.
*Soul Searching*
This is a legit thing. Google even says. Well good news is I've made it through the border, somehow to my driver, and to my hotel without deciding to turn around. Average news is I’m still searching… So google might have lied. All I’ve managed to find so far is why you don’t go on Tinder while on vacation because those boys are vicious and will hunt you down while you’re trying to blog and eat your breakfast. Also the only reason you would ever bring a boy on a vacation would be to apply your tanning oil so you don’t end up with a splotchy sunburn. I enjoyed this alone time. I learned I can function at 7am to work out, spending $500 you don’t have at the gift shop is a thing, and 24 hour unlimited room service shouldn’t be a thing.
But I know it’s coming. Until then I’ll just keep applying more tanning oil and procrastinating my emails.
Alexa returns to Arizona (She lives there?)
Shouldn’t have honestly. Obviously this short lived "vacation" managed to still keep my great positive personality. Well guys now this no longer sunburnt, forever soul searching, rarely tamed dance teacher has some real life to get to. The shocking blow your mind kind of life. So watch out dance world and regular world because
"Good girls don't make history."
