Alexa's past 4 months in one post.
*How I actually know that life is green again is that I'm actually posting this blog. I've been writing 2 words and erasing 2 paragraphs for 4 months.
Green tea, green juice, green face from this turbulence. All pretty relevant. Mostly wishing I wasn’t protesting sleeping on planes and my smart water would turn into a snow-cone margarita. Preferably green. My life has been so green lately is what I’m hinting at. I’ve honestly been on such a go that I don’t even know how to stop. I know eventually everything has to get better before it completely falls off a cliff and stops at a 100% red. Red is my least favorite color. But when this point happens, I’ll postmates some red wine and persevere.
8/14/16
I’m very proud of how I’m currently surviving life right now. One year ago today, I made a promise to myself to look at life in a new way. I would even say to look at myself in a new way. If you personally know me or even if you don’t, I’m annoyingly often told the phrase by all of you people “You need to put yourself first” or worse “You need to have balance in your life.” When in actual reality, one year ago I put myself always as first. As a label. That was my problem. Being first is a feeling of being accepted and being the "best". Which is what I thought was the highest achievement in life so therefore satisfied. I had a wandering year of discovering how to be genuinely proud of who I am. I was a wandering mess that's for sure. If you really want the truth I existed in such a distorted reality I am to this day still shocked at how much life this world actually has. Now I take each day with an understanding that there will be green days and there will be red. But ultimately the red are just a reminder that you can be as happy as you'd like to be.
Happiness in an AM list:
- Working hard
- Working out
- Life working out how it's supposed to
- Being generous
- Being genuine
- Flowers (That I give to myself)
- Gluten
- Singing out loud in airports
- Not airports
- Long hikes to nowhere
- Correct grammar
- Chelsea Handler
- Intelligent conversations
- Surprises
- Surprising people
- Coconut oil
- Watching my sister dance
- Being hydrated
- Roomies
- Green apples
- Quotes on quotes
- Christmas
- Learning
- Learning how to be yourself
Extroverted Introvert
11/2/16
This is my "I am a normal person" post.
I love attention. But can't stand compliments. I crave challenge. In conversation, in my job, in a journey. Without it I become uninterested within seconds. Whenever I'm uninspired, I am tired. When I am tired, like most people, I am not content.
"I have the bad habit of reading the last page of a story first to see whether it's worth reading."Guilty and not interested in changing. This is how I some what unfortunately treat most relationships. I am an all in, loyalty, and passion kind of girl. If you question if I'm all in, then you answered it because I'm not. I hold 90% of my life back to everyone I meet. Purposely. I think understanding your strengths and weaknesses in an accepting way is a tool to loving yourself. One characteristic I constantly struggle with is trusting others. It doesn't help that I am abnormally stubborn and never do anything anyone tells me to do ever. But I am open to trust. I think realizing your fears can help you move past them. So in conclusion I will still continue to fast forward to the end of all my romance Netflix movies and maybe someday I will trust the way I trust in fate.
11/15/16
Alexa is thankful.
I'm thankful to have such an unpredictable lifestyle. I'm thankful for the people who challenge me and I need more of you in my life. I am thankful for my work ethic I have forced myself to deal with. I am thankful for teaching kids and kids teaching me. I am thankful for my family who has dealt with my bipolar personality for 23 years and counting. I am thankful for my best friends who keep me even when I'm bossy. I am thankful for my life that I will continue to improve through the greens and reds.
